Getting Old

APOLOGIES–This is not post about vintage things, but about vintage me.

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Some days. Some days just make you feel old. The other day I had my annual (well, almost annual) physical. I am now at the age where my GP suggested I get a “baseline EKG.” Oh jeez. Okay. This was done at the end of a rather extensive exam–if you get my drift ladies! The room was freezing. At this point I had been in nothing but a thin cotton gown for 45 minutes. And this tiny, young nurse came in to attach EKG electrodes all over my body. And there I was with my gown open, basically naked, and I looked down at my body with all of its foibles–stretch marks, fat, scars, saggy bits, wrinkles–and I felt embarrassed.

For a second.

And then I didn’t. I let it go.

First, I thought well she’s a nurse. She sees lots of janky, old bodies in her biz. Second, I thought, good grief, I was her once. Skinny, firm, smooth skinned. And she will be me. I should not be ashamed. This is life. Aging.

And I gave myself an internal hug. (Is that even a thing?) And I reminded myself of all my body had been through in my life including giving birth to two daughters.

Later, after the blood tests and a knee x-ray, when I was home I cried a bit. I cried more when some of the results were posted–even though most of the results were good. (My extended family were/are all diabetic. I am not. My numbers are perfectly normal.)

But my blood pressure is still a bit of an untamed beast at times, even with meds. So my doc and I are focusing on that. She’s given me some marching orders. And I am trying to follow them because I know high blood pressure can lead to strokes, which are nasty.

The thing is when you are young, you never, ever imagine getting old. You just don’t. But if you are lucky you do–get old that is. It’s a gift in an uncertain world.

I feel blessed.